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My best advice for anyone seeking a crowd-pleasing chocolate dessert that requires no baking, minimal technique, and primarily pantry ingredients: Turn to meat. More specifically, cured, mold-encased meat secured with twine. You’re reading this correctly. Your next dessert should be salami—made from chocolate.
Chocolate salami is a hand-rolled tube of chocolate stuffed with biscuits, nuts, and dried fruits. When sliced, the dessert uncannily resembles the cross section of dried sausages like soppressata and kielbasa. While chocolate salami is the dessert’s Italian-American alias, this tubular treat has many names throughout the world: It’s “salame de chocolate” in Portugal, “sokseh” in Estonia, “chocolate kolbosa” in Russia, and “cookie chip chocolate” on Reddit. In other words, it’s (likely) the only plant-based meat with global approval.